Q:  What do you call a man with no shins?
A:  Toe-Knee.

Baby Snake:  Mammy, am I a poisonous snake?
Mammy Snake:  Yes, why?
Baby Snake:  Because I just bit my lip!

Postman:  Is this your letter, the name is 'obliterated'.
Seamus:  That's not my letter.... sure my name is O'Shea.

Doctor, Doctor, I've broken my arm in two different places.
Well don't go back to either place again.

Little Tommy:  Daddy, can I get a drums?
Daddy:  No, its too noisy
LIttle Tommy:  But I'll only use them when you're asleep!